Still Trying to do it All on Your Own? Stop.

Let’s face it, as human beings, we all have a great sense of pride, and most of us believe we can do anything and everything on our own, that we don’t need any help. Pride makes us feel this, but self-awareness helps us understand that this is entirely untrue. The problem is, too many of us let our pride block out our self-awareness. Therefore, we tend to take on way more than we can genuinely and efficiently handle.

So why don’t we ask for help?

Many of us see asking for help as something complicated. Something that chips away at our pride, makes us question our own abilities, and some people fear it makes them seem unintelligent. The stubborn part of our ego believes we can do anything — but in reality, asking for help can also make us stronger, more successful, and more confident. Refusing to ask for help is counter-productive. Remember, we weren’t made to navigate life alone!

As humans, we all need connections. When we don’t ask for help, we’re also missing out on an opportunity to build connections with other people. It can actually be a compliment to ask someone else for their help, and it can strengthen others too! When you value someone else’s expertise and advice, it can help strengthen the relationship. Think about the last time someone asked you for help? How did it make you feel? Kind of flattered, weren’t you?

Help is such a simple thing, but yes, most of us feel it’s difficult to ask for. I think it boils down to fear. Fear holds us back from doing so many things, including asking for help. Fear of seeming weak, vulnerable, needy, or incompetent. Sound familiar? There’s tons of psychology research behind this, but I’ll leave that part to the experts.

As a full-time working Mom, I take pride in feeling like I can do it all. But am I being truly honest with myself? Can I really do it all? Sure, I can, but I promise something will suffer for it. Whether it’s the quality of my work or my kid’s wellbeing, inevitably something will have to give. This worldwide pandemic has cast a whole other wave of fear in people, but what it has made me realize is that I need to ask for help more often. I’m now trying to balance my 40+ hours/week career while attempting to homeschool my two elementary-aged children. (This is part of the reason why I haven’t published a blog post in well over two months). Its exhausting, frustrating and has forced me to self-reflect more. My reasons for not asking for help have been fear and pride. Now that I am aware, I can overcome it.

Are you overwhelmed? Ask for help.
Are you unsure of how to do something? Ask for help.
Are you scared to say no to someone? Ask for help.
Are you exhausted? Ask for help.
Are you unsure about a section on a contract? Ask for help.
Are you unsure of a concept when studying? Ask for help.
Are you afraid to screw up? Ask for help.
Do you have a fear of letting someone down? Ask for help.
Are you avoiding a project? Ask for help.

Do any of these situations sound familiar? Don’t overthink it. Just ask for help. We weren’t made to walk through life alone, or even try to navigate a career in real estate! Toss your pride and fear aside, make the effort to form trusting relationships with others to help you succeed. Not just personal relationships, but professional ones as well. Not only will you increase your confidence, but you will also help to build up the confidence of those you ask as well.

Read my previous blog post The 4 People You Need in Your Life for a Successful Career  to help you find these trusted advisors where you can always ask for help!